Fat Talk

I have read several articles recently (highlighted in red) that confirm what I've been trying to say for years: "fat talk" never helps anybody.  I see fat talk as two separate ideas: one is an individual saying negative things about his or her own body, and the other is negative talk about another person, aka "fat shaming."

(Most of the things I'm talking about here are specifically for women, but can apply to men too.)

You know when you go to a store with a friend to try and find some cute clothes that make you look good? How many times in the past year have you ended the trip saying something like "I look terrible" or "My hips are huge" or something similar? And you know that every time one person in a group says something negative about their body, everyone else has to speak up and share their own flaws and perceived imperfections. Have you ever noticed that if you say something enough times, you'll start to believe it? It's true. The more negative things you say about your own body, the more you will believe it. It also creates a culture within a friend group that feels like a competition. It's a fight to see who is the "fattest" or "ugliest," but the winner of this contest doesn't feel like a winner by the end.

I'm as guilty of "fat talk" as anyone is, just ask my husband. However, as important as it is to be a healthy size (a journey I am on right now), it is also important not to insult yourself every way you turn. The article says of fat talk, "It’s a bonding ritual they describe as “contagious,” aggravating poor body image and even setting the stage for eating disorders." I would also draw a parallel for people who happen to be "too skinny" because they get a lot of grief for that, too. Besides the fact that it is not good for your own self-worth, talking about weight and size with friends will ALWAYS lead to someone feeling like they are not good enough. Take it from experience. I have plenty of friends and family who are beautiful and much smaller than I am (as well as those who are beautiful AND the same size or larger). How do you think it feels for me when someone who is half my size talks about how much they need to lose weight? Well, I'll tell you: not very good. Duh! Obviously, if this adorable tiny person thinks that she looks bad, how much worse must I look? (Answer: I look just fine, and so do they.)

Fat Shaming is a huge issue right now, too, as you probably already know. Have you ever been looked down upon or outright insulted for your size? Does that ever feel good for anyone?

No. And not only does it feel bad, it actually hurts your chances of making a lasting change. Fat shaming is a trend that should be stopped immediately. If you are guilty of telling someone that they look fat or saying any similar negative statements to someone, please read that article and know that you are hurting, not helping, them.

Hopefully by now you get the point, it's not good to insult your weight or that of others, but I know that you want your friends to be healthy and for your own body to be working at full speed. So what kind of talk should we replace the bad stuff with?

My friends and I in the past have had a rule for spending time together, especially when one friend is going through a particularly low self-esteem time. The rule is For every negative thing you say about yourself, you must say three positive things. This is unbelievably hard for some people. I have had to make a friend sit still for thirty minutes until she could think of something good to say about herself. If they refuse, it might be fun to have everyone in the group say something nice about the person. Hopefully that will give the person a little self-esteem boost.

I also like the solution they give at the end of the NY Times article for when you're out shopping. Instead of saying your hips are too big for these jeans, say "These jeans don't get me." That acknowledges that the clothing is not the right fit for your body as opposed to blaming yourself.

The last article I'm going to link to could be a HUGE eye-opener, but it probably shouldn't be. It's called How Not to be a (Jerk) to Your Fat Friends. I substituted 'jerk' for a more vulgar word, so if you're offended by vulgar language, maybe don't read it. But maybe do read it and just get over the language. It's that good. You will learn a lot about what it feels like to be the recipient of fat shaming, if you don't already know, and how you can be a better friend. And after all, doesn't everyone want to be a better friend, to yourself as well as others?

Sources:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/07/29/fat-shaming-weight-gain_n_3670560.html

http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/05/27/fat-talk-compels-but-carries-a-cost/

http://www.xojane.com/issues/how-not-to-be-a-dick-to-your-fat-friends

In Which I Out Myself, Politically Speaking

I was hanging out on Facebook tonight, as I do a lot these days, when I saw a Facebook post from my next door neighbor. She told a story about her daughter asking a political question on the difference between Democrats and Republicans. I appreciated her answer; even though she identifies with one party in particular, she tried very hard to be objective in her explanation. She compared Democrats to Robin Hood and Republicans to Willy Wonka. Although obviously she had to simplify the finer points of politics for her young daughter, I thought it was an interesting analogy, especially considering how much I love both literary characters. Then there was a comment from one of my neighbor's Facebook friends, whom I have never met:

The problem with the analogy is that Robin Hood thought he was helping the poor. Democrats know their policies keep people poor and dependent on government.
I taught my five year old that Democrats are Communists that are trying to steal our house, and they want to destroy America. More simply, I said Democrats are bad guys and Republicans are good guys.

 I choked. As I said before, this man does not know me. Yet here he is, painting me and every person who disagrees with him politically in a negative light to his young daughter. Yes, that's right. I vote Democrat, pretty much every time. For some reason, during the time that I worked in a church setting I was afraid to talk about politics, afraid that someone was going to argue with me or stop liking me. It was juvenile, but obviously it's a valid concern, judging by the above comment.

Let's assume that this man is a Christian. I think it's a pretty good assumption considering that he is a Republican in Alabama. If that man's little girl ever happens to come to a church where I am teaching Sunday School, or takes a mission trip to some organization that I will hopefully be working for some day, she will probably like me. I like to laugh and have fun, I am encouraging, and I care about people. I also love Jesus with my whole heart. Say we start talking. I mention something like the fact that I visited Washington DC for President Obama's inauguration and had an amazing time, or that my husband is a minister. She will probably start to feel uncomfortable and confused. After all, hasn't her daddy always told her that Democrats are bad guys? Does this lady who cares so much about the mission of Jesus Christ really want to steal her house from her? Hopefully, she will have enough common sense and compassion to realize that I do not want to destroy America, I just want to help Americans in any way that I can. If that means voting Democrat, well then, I'll just do that.

I really wanted to post a scathing response to this man's comment. Something about punching his face. But when the red haze in my eyes subsided, I decided to do something else.
I prayed for him.
I prayed that someone he meets will show him that not all Democrats are bad and out to destroy America.
I prayed that he would have a better day than he apparently had today.
I prayed blessings on his family.

I may post this as a response on Facebook, or I may not. Whatever I do, I hope that anyone who reads this thinks about the effect their words have, and about how to build respect and community in our lives instead of tearing it down.

Now I'm off to cheer for President Obama. May God bless you today and always.

Fun Vacay Pics!

Here is a photo book from our vacation in North Carolina. We had a great time, and there was a VERY HUGE surprise at the end!

Click here to view this photo book larger

Turn your favorite photos into a photo book at Shutterfly.com.

Beautiful boy face

via Instagram http://instagr.am/p/KlR6k4DWsB/

Top Eleven of 2011!

My friends and I are sitting in our apartment watching the AU-VA Chick-fil-A bowl, and we decided to make a "Top 11 for 2011" list to commemorate our year. Despite my difficulties remembering what happened this year, and even what year it is, I managed to think of 11+ events that made 2011 one of the best years ever. I don't think I've had such an eventful year since... probably 2008. Here's my list, complete with honorable mentions.

11. Auburn wins National Championship in the middle of a snowstorm in Alabama.

10. Meeting new friends when I started leading the College and Career (CClife) group at Aldersgate.

9. Preached my first sermons at Hartselle FUMC and Aldersgate

8. Washington, DC trip with Bridget, which is a symbol for an entire several-month period at the beginning of the year in which I applied for, was accepted to, and decided not to attend several seminaries. I have yet to regret that choice.

7. Summer job at Trinity UMC's Intersect Huntsville program. I discovered a love of local missions.

6. I got a new car! I have had so many good times with my old Mitsubishi, Mitzi. I've had her since 2004, but she was getting old. In the last week of this year I bought a 2008 Nissan Versa, named Vera. She is my first major purchase as an adult, and I'm proud of her!

5. My wonderful friends threw me a surprise party for my 26th birthday! We wore togas and said "opa!"

4. A whole Summer of Adventures that I'll never forget!

3. Moved to a new apartment, Vintage 310, with two of my best friends, Bridget and Katelyn. We have lots of fun, including baking, parties, and pillow fights.

2. My career has taken a turn for the awesome. I am finally in full-time ministry, and I got to participate in the start of a new outreach ministry, Aldersgate on the Parkway. It takes up tons of my time, but the opportunity to have a new adventure for God is so exciting!

1. Joshua David Allison convinced me that we are perfect for each other. I will alway be grateful for his persistence.

Honorable Mentions:
My little brother Daniel graduated from Auburn! I'm so proud.
I went red with my hair, and I love it!
Nail polish became an obsession
Pinterest took over my free time
Game Nights with great friends
Beach Trips with friends and family
Meeting the Allison family and falling in love with every one of them
Riding in a hot air balloon!
Civil War reenactment, State fair, Mooresville, historic Huntsville, all in one day
New Year and Auburn celebrations with great friends
Watching the state of Alabama band together for tornado relief
Seeing Gungor twice!
Loving HIMYM and TBBT
Cooking at our apartment
Living with my good friends the Sneads
Getting a Macbook for work. I will never be the same.
Spending lots of time at Bridge Street with various awesome friends
Trips to Sumatanga to see Chrysalis and camp friends
Spending Spring Break serving at Urban Ministry
WC Handy fest in Florence
Iron Bowl 2011 with Joshua and Paul
Homecoming in Auburn
Visiting family, especially the little ones!
Being liturgist at the Christmas Eve service at Hartselle
Losing my best friend for a summer as she served Jesus at an orphanage in Romania. But I got her back.
Spending time with Jesus in new ways

Here's to an even more awesome 2012! Happy New Year!

Borrowed Bibles

I don't always understand people, even (especially) Christians. My collar is not as hot as it was earlier tonight, but the questions persist. Sometimes I want to borrow other people's Bibles, just to see if they're reading the same book as I am.


I mean, I know that we all get stuck in our ways but-
How can I hear Jesus say "go and make disciples of all the nations," but then I hear some people say "We don't need any more people in this church?"


I know that there are different ways to interpret scripture, but-
How do I read "love your neighbor as yourself" and some people read "let's make it impossible for an entire group of people to succeed so they'll go back to where they came from?"


I know that there is a separation between church and state, but-
How do I read Matthew 5, the part where Jesus tears down the "eye for an eye" rule in favor of peace, forgiveness and generosity, and some people read "how about we let our government kill people as punishment?"

I know that there's more to life than money, but-

How do I quote "whatever you do to the least of these, you do to Me," and others quote "God helps those who help themselves" (which is not even in the Bible, btw)?

I know that the mob mentality is a powerful force, but- 

How do I read about God perfectly forming each of us in the womb, and some people hate anyone who is different from their perception of what is right, accepted, and normal?

Usually empathy is one of my strengths, and I can at least get a glimpse of another point of view. Tonight I'm just not feeling it. Come talk to me tomorrow, and we'll take a look at that wonderful book together.

scripture references: Matthew 28:16-20, Matthew 22:36-40, Matthew 5:38-42, Matthew 25:31-46, Psalm 139:13-17. Can you tell I love Matthew's gospel?

WOW, What a Summer!

I don't know if this is really going to work, but it's worth a shot.

Click here to view this photo book larger

30 Before 30 List - #1 Ride in a Hot Air Balloon

The #1 item on my "30 Things to do before I turn 30" list is ride in a hot air balloon. 

Well, guess what? 

CHECK!! 

When I saw two of my Facebook friends post pictures of hot air balloons last night, I knew that this was my chance! I gathered a group of friends, and today we set off for an adventure! It was the Alabama Jubilee and Hot Air Balloon Festival in Decatur, and we got there mid-afternoon. We bought giant snow-cones and walked around for a little bit. It was so hot I thought my feet were getting sunburned just from the reflection off of the asphalt!

The balloons were taking forever to show up, so some of our friends had to leave without even seeing them. Alisha and I said goodbye to Leah Kathryn, Jonathan and Brittny and continued to enjoy the people-watching paradise that is an Alabama festival. Finally the balloons were inflated and we walked around marveling at the bright colors. 

As we strolled, we ran into someone that I knew, if only from old reruns I have watched at my grandparents' house. It was Guy Penrod, my Granny Rachel's favorite singer from the Gaither Gospel Hour! He was playing on the Jubilee stage that night, and, after some prodding from Alisha, I finally asked if I could get a picture made with him. He was very nice, and when I called Granny to tell her, she actually squealed!

We got in line to go up for a ride in one of the balloons and met our balloon-mates, a little boy who was afraid of heights and his grandfather. They were very nice, and the boy did great once we got up in the air. It was a very long line, but we finally got to go up in the balloon right before dusk! I was so busy taking a picture of the inside of the balloon that I didn't even realize we had started rising! The balloons were beautiful as it got darker; the fire from the... mechanism... lit up the inside like a lantern. It was very peaceful, for the 60 seconds that we were in the air, then it was back to solid ground for us. What a fun adventure with my friend, and I get to check off one more thing on my list! 

Ok, maybe that kid wasn't doing so great with his fear of heights...

The Faith (and Humor!) of a Child

Tomorrow is my last day working at Latham Child Development Center. I am going to be doing mission work this summer through Trinity UMC's Intersect Huntsville Program, and I'm super excited about it! I'm not excited about leaving LCDC, however. I've been there for two years (minus last summer) and I've worked with almost every age group in the school. I've had kids call me everything from Ray Ray and Dodo to Daychel and Ray-Shoe! My coworkers are amazing, but the kids are the ones that have really spoken to my heart with their innocence and love. I have gotten more laughter out of those kids than any comedy movie or sitcom. I am reminded every day of Jesus' love for the little children around him and how my faith should reflect that of a child. I'm going to miss all of those sweet babies. I've been collecting funny things that my kids have said over the past two years, so I thought this would a good time to post some of my favorite kid quotes and pictures. Enjoy!  

These three sweeties have been in my class since they were babies!

Two year old quotes:


Dakota: Waychel... I like your...brown...big...eyes!
Me: Aw, thanks Dakota! I like your big brown eyes too!
Dakota: I not have big brown eyes! I have...tiny pink eyes!


Me: Who was born on Christmas?
Hudson: My friend Jesus!


A conversation between me and a friend in denial:
"Hey, what happened?"
"Nothing."
"Why is Dakota crying?"
"Because she isn't."
"I can hear her crying."
"...I didn't push her."


And later that day...
"Why did you push her again?"
"Because I didn't."
"Why are you being so mean today?"
"Because I am'nt."


Lacey: I love you, Moses. Say I love you.
Moses: I love you. Night night. Be good!


Isabella: Ms. Rachel, you're a nice big girl.
Me: Well thanks Isabella, but I'm not a girl. I'm a grown-up, like your mommy. 
Isabella: *gasp* My mommy's not a grown-up! She's just a mommy!


"SHOW ME THE MONEY!!! ...Ms. Rachel, what's money??"


Madalyn, while in the midst of singing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star for her classmates:
"Hey guys! You wanna watch my arabesque?"


Me: That was awesome, dude! High Five!
Moses: I not a dude!
Me: You're not? What are you?
Moses: I a big boy- Moses!


Me: You need to listen to Ms. Rachel!
Lacey: Hey, cool hair!!!


After I helped her blow her nose-
Gabrielle: I like your tissue!
Me: Um... thanks?

Is this the best picture or what? Pink skirt just dumped him.

Four year old quotes:


Patrick: Christopher is always mean to me!
Christopher: I'm not ALWAYS mean! ...Sometimes I sleep.


A four year old version of tattling: "Josh threw sand at me. So did Lana. I just made that up."


Zane is in love with me. He gives me a hug every day, that's why he's in love with me. He's pretty cute, but him and my brother are friends. Christopher is a liar and Zane is a liar, so they should get married because they are both liars.


(sniffing potpourri during a lesson on the five senses) "It smells... it smells like... ROCK AND ROLL!!!"


"Ms. Rachel, there's a beetle under there!"
"That's not a beetle, that's a crotch-roach!"
"Ohh..."


(while stroking my arm) "Ms Rachel, I like to pet you. You feel kind of fluffy and silky at the same time.


Trenton: My dad is a policeman.
McKinzie: Yeah, so your dad can do anything he wants. Except drugs.


"Ms. Rachel? Ms. Rachel? Ms. Rachel! MS. RACHEL!!"
"Yes, Mayu?"
"...I love you!!"


Trenton: I love hash browns. They are yummy in my tummy. I think there's a party in there!


Trenton: "I'm building something for Ms. Rachel, but don't let her look. She's pretty sneaky." (Who, me?)


Bella: Tell Ms. Rachel about when you went to Orange Beach.
Ari: I didn't go to Orange Beach, I went to the Blue Beach!


Miles, playing "teacher": If you talk, you will go to the office, and then... TO JAIL!!!


Other Kid Quotes:
Me: I want sparkly boots like yours! Do you think I'd look silly, or could I pull them off?
Ashlyn: You could pull them off. They're pretty easy to get off and on, if you wear socks.

Does God Have Skype?

I've been trying to make some decisions about my future, namely whether or not I want/need to go to seminary this August. I've been accepted (I think) to the three schools I applied for, which is encouraging. But, like most people, I struggle with how I'm supposed to know exactly what God's plan for me is. I pray and try to concentrate on listening for an answer, but I usually feel like an old radio- mostly static and white noise with whispers of remembered conversations. It would be so much easier if I could get a burning bush like Moses, or even that still, small voice everyone talks about. Come to think of it, I might not want those after all; it seems like every time God speaks directly to someone in the Bible they have to do something difficult and scary. Maybe I should be glad I can't Skype with God.

I know that there are lots of different ways to figure out what God is trying to tell you. I have friends that hear from God in dreams, that have special prayer languages, that get flashes of who needs prayer at any given moment. I also have friends who work solely from logic, like Dr. Spock. So what's my method? I think I've figured it out. It involves both my intellect and my emotions, as well as other people. I have to be really uncertain for a while, researching and pondering and going over every option a dozen times. I have to listen to my heart and change my mind a lot. Eventually, I have to talk about it. With every person I know. Lots and lots of advice. As we discuss, inclinations begin to form.  Decisions will be made without me even realizing it. Things will pop out of my mouth that take me by surprise. "Congratulations on getting into Duke!" "Oh thanks, I'm not going there." The scale starts to slowly tip one way or the other. Finally the doors will close or open, and I will know what to do. Once it's decided, I'm sure. I don't have to think about it any more; I just say "thanks Lord!" and do it.

I'm getting past the pondering stage in my seminary discernment process. I'm obviously to the sudden decision stage- Duke was my first choice at one point, but now it's pretty much out of the running... apparently. I'm waiting to visit the other two schools in a couple of weeks and find out about the whole financial aid situation. Those are the doors that I need God to open or close for me. I'm confident He'll do it and that it will be the best situation for me. I can't wait to find out; I'm not a patient person. Maybe God will reveal his Skype name to me in my dreams tonight so I can satisfy my curiosity.

How does God speak to you?

A Conversation

I haven't wanted to blog about the whole Rob Bell/Universalism hullabaloo until I read his book and actually had an opinion, but I have been really frustrated about all the mean-spirited bickering and condemning that has been going on in Christian circles in response to this. My friend Jonathan (check out his blog, jbvenable.wordpress.com) sent me the link to this article in Sojourners' magazine that addressed the whole situation, and we had a conversation on Facebook chat that I think sums up my views on what has been going on. I've edited out the chat lingo for grammar and conciseness. You should probably glance at the article if you want to understand the conversation.




Rachel: Wow, point 1 is kind of what I've been trying to figure out how to say for a long time. I told a friend that if Bell can make a good biblical case for universalism I would be so happy because I really want to be able to believe it.


Jonathan: It will be interesting to see what he says and how he frames his points. I just think you have to find a balance but yet everyone tends to be extreme one way or the other which isn't really healthy. I went to a seminary that connects itself with John Piper so I understand his point but I also understand Rob Bell's point or what we assume is his view from everyday life.


Rachel: Yeah, my brain understands both sides, but my heart wants Rob to be right. Well, I don't really know what he's going to say in his book, but my heart aches for universalism to be true. 


Jonathan: I had a guy tell me one time that God sends people to hell to glorify Himself, and I looked at him and thought "how can you say that?" I don't think God gets delight out of condemning people; I just think that where we have to find a balance is how  we perceive Jesus a a Judge.


Rachel: I think you're right, I just hate how divisive this all is -just theology in general. That's the opposite of how Jesus would want his church to be, I think.


Jonathan: I think a lot of people have tried to make a career out of Church instead of making it a lifestyle. By making it a career they have in turn tried to push their thoughts or pursuade us to think they are right and we need to follow them instead of Jesus. Tony Campolo made a comment at Youth Workers that really caught my attention, He said that Catholics have done a better job of following the Red Letters of the Bible than Protestants have. He said that we try to see the Gospel through the eyes of Paul instead of Jesus, and by doing so we have missed it.


Rachel: Yeah! I heard him say that and liked it. Paul and I don't always get along anyway, haha. 


Jonathan: Not to say that Paul has bad things to say but again Paul, Peter, John, they were all in some sense giving us an interpretation of Jesus which again they were human just like us and may very well have given us their slant just like we tend to do. I don't know all the answers but I do think what ever we read from any author we should always see how it matches up with scripture, especially what the Red Letters say. That's all we can do. None of us have it figured out but if we claim to follow Jesus we must walk in his footsteps and follow the path he set out before us and trust that he will empower us to do so and he will give us the strength and courage to go forth.


Rachel: Exactly. I told a friend I was a "New Testament Girl" one time and he looked at me like I was crazy, but really what I should have said was that I'm a Gospel Girl. I value the rest of scripture for its history and wisdom, and I do think it is inspired by God, but nothing can cover the words of Christ. He's the beginning and the end.


Jonathan: Very true indeed. People just seem to be reactionary, and I have to admit when I first watched the video for the new Rob Bell book I was a little hesitant, but I want to read it to see what his view is and go from there. If I was an author I would at least want people to read the book and not judge it by its cover or what I say in a pre-release video. My first thought is that this infighting isn't good for Christianity because in essence it would turn people away.


Rachel: And truthfully there aren't that many people who are that interested in theology. People are more interested in what Christians are doing than what exactly they believe


Jonathan: I think this is a great opportunity for Christians to really look at world situations through the eyes of Jesus. The question we have to ask ourselves (via David Platt) are we going to die in our religion or are we going to die in our devotion?


Rachel:Good question from your hero. Point 2 in that article is also very interesting.


Jonathan: Well he has a point though, because if we spend all our time trying to debate with one another on theological things then we lose sight of what we are called to do.


Rachel: True. I meant interesting in a good way. I've never really noticed how Jesus himself changed the lines in different parts of the Gospels as to who's "getting in" to heaven.


Jonathan: He had compassion for everything in that day. I think he probably had compassion even for the Pharisees even though they were a pain in his side.


Rachel: Yeah. Pharisees are a pain in my side too.

Can the Church Evict Jesus?

No, but it can certainly try to.

This morning I read this post on a friend's blog that he had written in response to this article from the New York Times. The article tells the story of a Catholic hospital that ordered an abortion to save the mother's life. The Catholic church excommunicated the nun that made the decision and cut ties with the hospital (a step which stops the hospital chapel from saying mass). The author of the article called it "evicting Jesus" and said that the Catholic church has lost the compassion that Christ so championed.

My friend's post disagreed with the author of the article. He uses Matthew 25:41 to make a point that Jesus wasn't all about compassion, and the church has a right to punish those who sin.

The problem with his use of this verse is that he didn't keep going. In Matthew 25:41 Jesus says this:

Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels.

Sounds pretty judgy and compassionless, right? Well, this is the parable of the sheep and the goats, which happens to be my favorite passage in all of the Gospels. If you keep reading you find out why Jesus was so hard on those goats. Verses 42-43 say:

For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, ⁴³ I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.

This passage is about compassion for other people. The goats were damned because they didn't have compassion.

So yes, Christ says we will be judged for our actions. But does He ever tell us to judge each other? No, in fact he says the opposite. The final judge is God.

Did Jesus ever punish anyone while he was on earth? No, you won't see Jesus sending someone to Hell in the Gospels. He did send people away from him, but usually it was because they were too stuck on rules, or they cared more about money than people or following Him. In fact, Jesus went out of his way to stop people from stoning that prostitute (a woman that would certainly be ostracized in the Catholic church. Most churches, as a matter of fact).

He also didn't tell the church to punish people by trying to sever their ties with God. He told Peter, the guy he was going to build His church on, to feed his sheep, not try and make them stay inside their pen. He wants the church and its members to have compassion to all of his sheep, including, but not limited to, the broken and downtrodden, and certainly the sinners.

I'm not going to try and pass judgement on the whole abortion situation. I wasn't there, and I wouldn't have known what was going on if I had been. But I do know that that decision that the nun, and other hospital employees, had to make was probably one of the hardest decisions of her life and that she is going to have to live with it for the rest of her life, especially now that her calling, her life, has been taken away from her. Even if she is judged by God for that decision, He sent Jesus to earth for the exact purpose of forgiving the sins of His people, even if the church doesn't. That's the verdict: forgiveness.

Of course the church can't evict Jesus - he's everywhere- but it can turn people away from Him. Fortunately, there are others working very hard to bring those people back. As the New York Times article quotes,

"Though they will be denied the opportunity to celebrate the Eucharist, the Eucharist will rise out of St. Joseph’s every time the sick are healed, the frightened are comforted, the lonely are visited, the weak are fed, and vigil is kept over the dying.”

Hallelujah.

What do you think?

Our Nashville Adventure, Told in Several Unnecessarily Dramatic Installments ~Part 3, Awkward Side-Hug

PART 1 ~Hotdog Money~
PART 2 ~The Creeper~

PART 3 ~Awkward Side-Hug~

Bridget and I stand in front of the Hampton Inn, peek around the bushes at the man across the street, and pull with futile strength on the door handle. It doesn't budge. We see a plaque beside the door that says "guests only, use room key for entry." We stand in shock for a moment, until all of a sudden the door swings open and a couple walks out. They glance nervously at our tense faces, but they hold the door open as we scurry inside. The warmth of the hotel lobby swirls around us and makes us shiver, partly from cold and partly from nerves. We continue to skulk around the lobby and try to see out of the high windows to where we had left our perceived stalker. Unable to see him, I decide to take charge of our current bleak situation. Back when we discovered the car was missing, I had instantly decided that I was going to handle this ordeal on my own, without calling my parents. Now I rededicate my energies to this challenge. I am 25 years old, I think. I should be able to take care of myself without having to call my Daddy. I feel independent and confident, if a little shaken by all of the fleeing that we have been doing. I think Bridget just feels cold.

We head toward the front desk to ask for sanctuary, much like Quasimodo in his bell tower (My purse is starting to feel a little heavy at this point, so my stooped posture probably bears a passing resemblance to the famed hunchback's). As we approach the desk, I observe a man and a woman standing behind it, and what I at first think is a school-age child, dressed in a bellhop's uniform, standing beside it. Then the child speaks to me, and I realize the person I had taken for a preteen is, in fact, a diminutive adult. Simultaneously I discover that not only have I mistaken the age of the tiny valet-- I am also unsure of its gender. Is this a pubescent boy or a masculine yet dainty woman dressed in nondescript black and white? A first glance is not sufficient to make the call, and I realize that I have completely missed what he or she said to me.

"I'm sorry?"
"I said 'can I help you?'"

We tell our whole sad and scary story to our rapt listeners, and they quickly agree that we should stay inside the hotel lobby while waiting for the police to arrive.We settle ourselves into some cushy armchairs and get ready to wait. I busy myself with calling the dispatch office to tell them our location change, the hotel to let them know we'd be fairly late checking in, and the various tow places again to see if any of their trucks had brought in my car (no luck). By this time it is about 10:30 at night, and Bridget has had a full birthday, to put it mildly. She gets comfortable and starts to relax. We try to make plans for the rest of the night.

Our gender-neutral friend, or "Pat" as I've begun to call him/her privately, comes over to us every once in a while to check that we are ok. He/she offers us coffee, hot chocolate or a number of vending machine choices from the hospitality center. Bridget takes a cup of hot chocolate, mainly to take advantage of the warmth it gives off, and I reject the offer. "My stomach is too nervous to eat," I say. Our friend keeps going back and forth to his/her post at the front door, and each time he/she comes back, the offers of refreshment grows stronger, especially toward me.
"I must look like I'm in shock." I say to Bridget. "That person really wants me to eat something."
"I'm sure that's it." Bridget says, a little smirk on her face.

The fourth time that I am offered a drink, I say "maybe in a little while" in an attempt to get some peace. This apparently is seen as encouragement, as my new friend leans down, puts a hand on my arm and says
"My name is Katie. You just let me know if you need anything, and I'll get it for you, free of charge."
My first thought as she is speaking is, of course, ohhh. The mystery is solved!
"Katie!" I say with a bright smile. "Thank you so much!"
My second thought is to notice the hand on my arm, the more than generous offer, and lastly, the wink that accompanies her statement.


...uh oh...


As Katie walks away, Bridget struggles to hold in her giggles. I smile gamely and say "well, at least we know her name is Katie!"

After a few mixups with the dispatch office, a police officer finally arrives and informs me that I can't file a claim with the police department unless I have proof of ownership, which is, of course, in the car. He does, however, take my information and promise to keep an eye out for it. I thank him and grab a taxi that is letting out passengers at the hotel's front door. Bridget and I slide into the cab, then I am stopped by my conscience. I can't just leave without thanking Katie. She was very nice and helpful.

I step out of the van and find Katie around the corner smoking with her coworker. I tell them what the officer said and that we are heading to our own hotel now. She pulls out a pen and says
"You have to call me and let me know when you find your car. Be sure and call me. I mean it, don't forget. And if you're ever in Nashville again, give me a call..."*
I let her give me her number, and then I attempt to climb back in the van. But before I can fully get in, I find myself in the midst of the most awkward side-hug in the history of the world. And I have had some awkward side-hugs. This one definitely took the cake. I am in mid-hop when she grabs me, and her short little arms barely reach the opposite side (although that might be my fault, fitnesswise). She gives me one hard squeeze with strength that surprised me coming from such a small person, and then lets go. I fall clumsily into the taxi, and the door closes. We watch her grow smaller in the distance as the van pulls away from the curb and Bridget almost falls out of her seat laughing.

The police officer calls twice on the way to the hotel with information about my car. The first time, I'm pretty sure he has pulled over some lady who drives a blue Galant with Alabama plates. I can hear her in the background yelling "I told you this is my car!" The second time he calls he tells me that he has found my car! It is in an impound lot and we can pick it up in the morning. Our spirits buoyed by the good news, Bridget and I go to bed without too many more interruptions, and she sleeps like a baby while I start awake at every noise, convinced that someone is breaking into our room to get us. I must not have been as calm throughout the whole thing as I thought I was.

The next morning, Bridget and I eat a delicious breakfast and take another cab to an impound lot run by an old mountain man with a ZZ Top beard. There is my car! We run to it, overjoyed, and pop the trunk to make sure all of our valuables are still there. So relieved to find everything is safe, I walk toward the driver's door... and step in a big, steaming pile of dog poop. I look down at my favorite TOMS shoes, sigh, and chuckle.

A fitting end to our big, steaming Nashville adventure.



*I know you're wondering, and no. I never called her.

Happy Christmas, Harry! Happy Christmas, Ron!

I love Christmas. I mean LOVE it. Not just Christmas, but Advent, New Year's, Epiphany, the whole deal. During the holiday season I get carried away on my Facebook and Twitter. I see all kids of fun videos and articles online, and I can't help but share them with my friends. So I thought I'd put them all together on my blog, sort of a holiday fun guide, if you will. Consider this your Christmas present. Enjoy!

First off, there are a couple of social network Christmas story videos out there. The cute one makes me giggle, but the sweet one makes my heart do that warm-twisty Holy Spirit thing. You know the one.

Speaking of the nativity, have you ever wondered what really went on during the first Christmas? Just ask these kids.

Thought Antoine Dodson's fifteen minutes of fame were over? Think again. He's back, and this time he's all up in Santa's business. Are you a Santa fan? Then here are some "facts" you might not know about the fat, jolly elf!

Here's a little something for my fellow Trekkies, then get your brain going with a little Christmas song game!

This is why we don't have live animals in the nativity scene at my church.

Northpointe Church has a rocking new way of making beautiful music.

I made a video with my friend/boss Lydia for an Advent Conspiracy event at our church. It's embarrassing, but I love it! And if you don't know about Advent Conspiracy, please please please go here!

It's a Rudolph/Roxanne mashup. Need I say more?

My friends are just as brilliant as The Police and whoever wrote Rudolph, IMHO. Meet your new favorite Christmas song.

It's not Christmas-y, but it's still exciting: my Auburn Tigers are going to the National Championship! Just a few links to show my fandom.

And a couple of old favorites, courtesy of Straight No Chaser and the SNL guys from way back in the day.


We've had some fun, but let's not forget the serious but inspiring links.

A man in India devotes his life to serving others.

My friend Kyle Gilbert wrote a "sobering reminder" about what Christmas isn't, and Steve West tells us why it's not such a big deal to say Xmas. Here on Rachel of the Well, I gave my own take on how to get the message of Christmas across to children.

And last but certainly not least, Stephen Colbert is both funny and sincere about Jesus' message of loving everyone.

Ok, one more: here's a little more of my own Christmas silliness, just for fun!

Well, I think that's all I've got. If I've missed anything super awesome, link to it in the comments. I'm wishing you love and peace during this holiday season, my friends! God bless you!

Our Nashville Adventure, Told in Several Increasingly Dramatic Installments ~ Part 2, The Creeper

Read the first part HERE (or you won't really know what's going on).

We return to our story as Bridget and I are walking up the street toward Rocketown, the venue where Relient K are going to be performing very soon. As we near the building, we see several well-lit parking lots with trustworthy-looking attendants, and I grow more nervous about the welfare of my precious Mitzi - the Mitsubishi, of course. We press on and enter the venue with our tickets in hand. We gaze around the industrial-style building and realize that we are in a sea of teenagers. While the opening band is performing, we have a lot of fun searching the crowd for anyone that appears older than our 25 years. We spotted a mom in a Christmas sweater and a grey-haired dad accompanying his tweenage daughter. Inexplicably excited to be the third-and-fourth oldest people in the room, besides the bands, we try to find a place to stand in the crush. We are stuck peering around pubescent boys who haven't quite realized how tall they have grown to be. Finally, Relient K comes out and all my hopes and dreams are realized (I told you this would be dramatic)! They put on a wonderful show with some of my favorite of their Christmas and other songs. I am thrilled to finally hear my favorite band, but the concert is over far too soon and we are faced with the trek back to the car.

As we turn the corner onto the street where we parked the car, we are distracted by the Nashville skyline looming above us. We stop to take some pictures to commemorate our trip. As we turn to get in the car and head back to our hotel, I suddenly become confused. Wasn't this where I parked the car? The only thing there now is an orange cone and a huge note spray-painted on a loading dock door - NO PARKING -
"Oh. No." I say. "The car is gone." Bridget stares in silence at the empty space and ominous lettering. I start manically walking down the street.
"What are you going to do?" asks Bridget, once she finds her words again.
"I'm going to find my car." I say determinedly.

We walk up the street to where a police car is parked. The officer inside rolls down his window, and I ask how we could find out if my car has been towed. He tells us to look at the parking signs and there should be a number for a towing place on them. We walk the block, writing down every phone number we see. I call each one, and get the same answer. "No, we haven't towed a blue '02 Mitsubishi Galant tonight." Unsure of our next step, we approach another police officer that has been directing traffic (looking back, I thank God that there was so much going on that night in Nashville. We would have been in trouble if we hadn't had those officers to help us). We tell him what has happened, and he puts in a call for an officer to come help us find the car. He gives us a number to call if no one has shown up in fifteen minutes, then he goes back to directing traffic at the intersection nearby.

Bridget and I sit down on a bench to wait. The street we are on is pretty much abandoned because of construction. There is no one walking or driving by. She has left her coat in the car, so she is shivering in the 40-degree weather. We wait for about fifteen minutes, so I call the dispatch office to see if someone is coming. They tell me that someone is on their way. As we are sitting there, Bridget notices a nice, black car drive by. She thinks it might be an undercover police car, until it drives right by. When it circles the block and drives by us again, this time slowing down, she gets a little nervous. I, in the meantime, am writing down all the phone numbers I think I will need because my phone is about to die. Of course, I brought the charger, but it is in the missing car. As I am writing down the number of my cousin, who lives in Nashville, I hear Bridget say "Rachel, this car has driven by here three times."
I look up to see the car pass us, then stop and slowly begin to back toward us. I say "Oh, he's probably just going to use the meter." But I scoot down to the end of the bench, away from the approaching car. As the car gets right beside our bench, the driver parks and cuts the engine. Bridget and I stand up and nonchalantly begin walking down the sidewalk, away from the car. We peek back to see the driver climb out of the car and walk to his trunk, staring at us the whole way. When he opens the trunk and peers inside, Bridget nudges me and says "Rachel, GO!"

We run across the street to a hotel entrance. We hide behind some bushes and watch the man in the black car rummage around in his trunk. When he stands up and looks across the street to where we are hiding, we scramble to the door and try to enter the hotel. But the door is locked. We have nowhere to go.


Don't miss the final part of our adventure, coming soon (comments will speed up the writing process)!

Here it is! Part 3 ~Awkward Side-Hug~

Who Do You Like Better?

During my kids' worship service on the first Sunday of Advent, I was having a conversation with the kids about the first Christmas. Many of them did not know that Christmas is Jesus' birthday, but I wasn't really surprised. Many of their parents are regular churchgoers, and I have no doubt that they have taught their children the basic bible stories like that of the Nativity; however, these children are of the age that any talk of a little baby in a far off land a long time ago is overshadowed by the fact that they get lots of toys from Santa Claus every Christmas. Let's face it, they probably don't even like their baby brothers or sisters very much; why would they care about some little baby they don't know? I was impressed by the honesty of one little boy who said "Ms. Rachel, I just don't know who I like better: Santa or Jesus." To be honest, I totally get that (although once I pointed out that if Jesus had never been born we wouldn't have Christmas OR Santa, he changed his tune pretty quick). I don't blame their parents, the church, or even society as a whole for getting the whole message mixed up. It's a natural human tendency to hold on to the material things, those things we can touch, smell, see, buy, sell, hoard. Spirituality is a need that most count second to the physical requirements of life. And to a child, a toy is a physical requirement, at least in our culture. So if this baby they've never met less important than a magical man with elvish friends who make toys, it's understandable. Understandable, but not irreversible.

Here's where we come in. The only way that our children (I say "our" not as a parent but as someone who cares deeply about children, as a group and individually) will learn the true meaning of Christmas is if we, as adults, show them and tell them what this whole shindig is all about. Show them that loving and giving is more important than receiving. Tell them about your relationship with Jesus Christ and how he has made a difference in your life. They're just kids; they're not going to figure it out on their own. I know this seems obvious, but I think we've forgotten part of it. I, too, get caught up in the hubbub of presents and cookies and holiday traffic, and before I realize it, I have lost my focus.

That's why I like Advent Conspiracy so much. It opens up so many opportunities for acts of service, relational giving, and conversations about important things. If you haven't checked it out yet, do it. It can change Christmas for you and your family, and maybe it will change the world in the process.

Our Nashville Adventure, Told in Several Very Dramatic Installments ~ Part 1, "Hotdog money"

It's a beautiful December day, and my lovely friend Bridget and I are driving to Nashville for an overnight trip to celebrate her 25th birthday. Our spirits are high as we head north. I'm especially excited about the concert we are going to see that night; Relient K has been my favorite band since my teenage years, but I've never seen them perform a full concert. We get to Nashville in plenty of time and start making plans to go somewhere special for a birthday dinner. As we look for the exit that will take us into downtown, I notice that the traffic is beginning to get congested. Before I know it, a long line has formed in the right-hand lane, and my exit is coming up fast. I try to merge onto the exit ramp, but the line of cars is just too tight and I sail right on by. But I'm not too worried. I say "oh, I'll just go up to the next exit and turn south. That'll get us there." I'm pretty confident in my directional skills; after all, I've been to Nashville a whole two times in the past six months. I pretty much know my way around by now, right?

I exit at the next opportunity and start making my way toward downtown. Traffic is getting worse and worse, but small-town girl that I am, I think it's just a normal big city occurrence on a Friday night. That is, until we see the first police lights. The road to the right is blocked, right where I need to go. I shrug and continue at a snail's pace, hoping we'll get a chance to turn soon. An hour and a half later, we're about a mile up the road, and my friend Patience has abandoned me for sunnier skies. Bridget is taking it all in stride, snapping pictures of the bright city lights out the window. We have passed at least ten streets, all blockaded on the right. Finally, as our car is trapped in the middle of an intersection at a red light, I roll down my window and ask a traffic cop, "what's going on?" 

"Christmas parade," he says. 


Ah. Great. That would have been nice to know. At last, we get to the end of the street. Nowhere to go but... left. We drive over the river and decide to circle around and attempt it from the other direction. This works much better, and we arrive in the general vicinity of the concert venue. I am nervous about missing the show, so we decide to take the first parking spot that we see and walk the rest of the way. Bridget says "look! They're parking cars over there." She points to a small road flanked by warehouses and office buildings. There seem to be a couple of men directing cars into a parking lot. I quickly veer onto the street and am greeted by a man waving me toward him.


I pull up beside him and roll down my window. 

"Is this a parking area?" I ask.

"Yeah, you can park here. It's five dollar," he replies.

I pull into the spot he indicates and give him the five dollars. He asks for a tip, so I hand over another buck. 

"Now, you're sure it's ok to park here? Who owns this building?"

"Yeah yeah, it's jimnerferver's building."

"Who?"

"Jim... Jimner Ferver."

"Oh...ok... so nothing's going to happen if I park here?"

"Naw, naw, I'll watch it for you."

"You will?" 

"Yeah sure... can I have some more money? I wanna buy a hotdog."

"...Um..."

Now, I know what you're thinking. But how can I resist a request for hotdog money? My heart is made of sugar and spice and everything nice. It is not made of stone! I give him another couple of dollars and we walk toward the venue. I must confess that I did not trust our new friend with my whole heart. Call me crazy, suspicious, or paranoid, but I had a strange feeling that something was not right about the situation. 

Bridget and I debate whether we should turn back and find a different place to park, but in the end we walk on, saying a little prayer that my car will be there when we get back. As it turns out, we should have said a bigger prayer...

Stay tuned for the next installment of the story. It's a good one. Trust me, I was there.


PART 2 ~The Creeper~