I spent most of my night watching YouTube videos. I was trying to quell the shouting inside me, to calm my heart's anxiety. If I can just make myself giggle at a stupid movie preview, I won't have to think about all the things I don't understand. If I can watch cute guys smirking at the camera every time they tell a joke, I don't have to wonder if I'll ever find someone. When I spend my time wondering if anyone has updated their Facebook status since the last time I checked it 30 seconds ago, I don't have to learn how to have real relationships without being afraid of baring too much of my fragile heart. I don't have to beat myself up about my mistakes and limitations. I don't have to be frustrated that the church as a whole seems to not "get" Jesus. I don't have to wonder about my place in a world that doesn't care about the hungry, the poor or the beaten down. When I fill my mind with flashy videos and blaring music I don't have to think, or wonder, or hurt.
Until the computer shuts down.
When the screen goes blank, I lie in the darkness. I think, I wonder, and I hurt for myself and the world. Then, out of that same black night comes a reminder. "Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God." Then I think about my peers who go hang out under the bridge with their homeless friends every Friday. I think of my loved ones who love me back, no matter how confused and awkward I am. I remember my preschoolers who tell me I'm pretty and genuinely mean it (they haven't yet learned the art of the little white lie). I consider people and groups who work very hard for equality for those whom Jesus would call "the least of these." And I know that my future in this world is a guaranteed success as long as I listen to my ever-present companion. It may not be the popular definition of success, but it will be the right one. And it will be good.
Nighty night!
Friday, September 24, 2010
Sunday, August 29, 2010
An "Almost Christian"
I just read a sermon by John Wesley that tells about the difference between an "almost Christian" and an "altogether Christian." You can read it too, here, or you can just read my summary. Well, really you don't have to do either, but it might be interesting so what do you have to lose?
According to Wesley, almost Christians have some things in common. I'm paraphrasing, of course.
1. They have moral standards that fit with the culture
2. They have the outside appearance of being a godly person; for example, they go to church, tithe, help the poor, volunteer at church, don't drink, smoke, cuss, gamble, or have sex outside marriage. In other words, they do all of those things that people associate with being a "good Christian."
3. They are sincere. They actually think that they are good Christians because they do all of the things that they are supposed to, that the Bible tells us to do.
Now, this person appears on the outside to be a good Christian. What is the difference between him and someone that Wesley would call an altogether Christian? Well, it's not something that you or I can see from the outside. It's an inner quality that is totally between the person and God.
An altogether Christian:
1. Loves God
2. Loves people
3. Has faith that God loves us and forgives us of our sins
This may seem like a small difference on the outside, but in a person's heart this means everything. These three things are what separates an "almost Christian" from an "altogether Christian." Do you know which one you are? In your heart of hearts, do you have this love and faith inside you, guiding your every move? If you don't, then you are not really who you claim to be. I wonder how many almost Christians we see in our churches every day? Only God knows.
According to Wesley, almost Christians have some things in common. I'm paraphrasing, of course.
1. They have moral standards that fit with the culture
2. They have the outside appearance of being a godly person; for example, they go to church, tithe, help the poor, volunteer at church, don't drink, smoke, cuss, gamble, or have sex outside marriage. In other words, they do all of those things that people associate with being a "good Christian."
3. They are sincere. They actually think that they are good Christians because they do all of the things that they are supposed to, that the Bible tells us to do.
Now, this person appears on the outside to be a good Christian. What is the difference between him and someone that Wesley would call an altogether Christian? Well, it's not something that you or I can see from the outside. It's an inner quality that is totally between the person and God.
An altogether Christian:
1. Loves God
2. Loves people
3. Has faith that God loves us and forgives us of our sins
This may seem like a small difference on the outside, but in a person's heart this means everything. These three things are what separates an "almost Christian" from an "altogether Christian." Do you know which one you are? In your heart of hearts, do you have this love and faith inside you, guiding your every move? If you don't, then you are not really who you claim to be. I wonder how many almost Christians we see in our churches every day? Only God knows.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Gratitude is the Sign of a Changed Heart
"Gratitude is the sign of a changed heart." That was the thought for the day on today's Upper Room devotional. We talk about being grateful fairly often in the church - not just at Thanksgiving. We talk about being thankful in the face of adversity and when things are going right, when we are lonely and when we are happier than we have ever been. But most of the time, when we talk about gratitude, it is in spite of our circumstances. We try to get around our troubles by counting our blessings and thanking God for them. But do we ever think that maybe we should be thanking God for our troubles and pains?
This summer I had the joy and privilege of working for Urban Ministry in Birmingham. I took youth groups around the West End and painted houses for people who were in need. I met so many people there who had less material possessions than I but way more faith. They praised God in all that they did. Ms. Vera was one lady in particular who inspired me. She wasn't even one of our homeowners who we were helping. She called out to us from her house down the street, so I walked down with one of the youth chaperones to talk to her. She lived alone in a house that had been her grandparents'. She told us that her calling in life was to take care of other people. She had nursed everyone in her family who was failing in health. She took care of her parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles until they "passed on." Now that most of her family was gone - she had no children - Ms. Vera was left alone with no one to care for her in her later days. She started telling us about her health problems, one at a time, going (unnecessarily, I thought) into a lot of detail about her conditions. I was prepared to sympathize and tell her that God was with her, but before I could say a word, I realized that this wouldn't be necessary. Every time Ms. Vera told us about another health problem she was going through, she said "thank you Jesus, I'm so blessed." In the same breath as her statement of pain, she showed gratitude and praised the Lord. How many of us can say that about ourselves?
Life is not always fun. But God is always good. And thanking God should not be an afterthought; instead, it should be something that we do with every thought and action, in good times and in bad.
Thanks, God, for being. Amen.
This summer I had the joy and privilege of working for Urban Ministry in Birmingham. I took youth groups around the West End and painted houses for people who were in need. I met so many people there who had less material possessions than I but way more faith. They praised God in all that they did. Ms. Vera was one lady in particular who inspired me. She wasn't even one of our homeowners who we were helping. She called out to us from her house down the street, so I walked down with one of the youth chaperones to talk to her. She lived alone in a house that had been her grandparents'. She told us that her calling in life was to take care of other people. She had nursed everyone in her family who was failing in health. She took care of her parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles until they "passed on." Now that most of her family was gone - she had no children - Ms. Vera was left alone with no one to care for her in her later days. She started telling us about her health problems, one at a time, going (unnecessarily, I thought) into a lot of detail about her conditions. I was prepared to sympathize and tell her that God was with her, but before I could say a word, I realized that this wouldn't be necessary. Every time Ms. Vera told us about another health problem she was going through, she said "thank you Jesus, I'm so blessed." In the same breath as her statement of pain, she showed gratitude and praised the Lord. How many of us can say that about ourselves?
Life is not always fun. But God is always good. And thanking God should not be an afterthought; instead, it should be something that we do with every thought and action, in good times and in bad.
Thanks, God, for being. Amen.
Thursday, July 29, 2010
Soon and very soon...
...I am going to post about my summer at Urban Ministry and my new job! But not right now. Have a super happy day!
Thursday, July 8, 2010
I am strong! ...who knew?
Wouldn't it be awesome if there was some force that magically came into the world and endowed each person with special powers that will make him or her specifically equipped for a unique world-changing purpose? Well, good news - there is! His name is God (aka Jehovah, Yahweh, etc.), and he loves you so much that he has given you a special combination of strengths. These gifts, when used to the fullest, can make you happier and more productive in growing His kingdom here on earth. Isn't that sweet and brilliant of him?!
This summer I have been learning about and exploring my own strengths. The United Methodist Church has started using a test by Gallup to identify a person's strengths. I took the long assessment and was fascinated by the results! I wasn't very surprised by my top five strengths, but I have loved unpacking them and exploring what they will mean in my life and ministry.
My top five strengths are:
1. Positivity
2. Adaptability
3. Connectedness
4. Includer
5. Empathy
After the jump I talk a little more about my strengths. I also have a few questions you can answer about me that will help me use my strengths to their fullest! (just click "read more" below)
This summer I have been learning about and exploring my own strengths. The United Methodist Church has started using a test by Gallup to identify a person's strengths. I took the long assessment and was fascinated by the results! I wasn't very surprised by my top five strengths, but I have loved unpacking them and exploring what they will mean in my life and ministry.
My top five strengths are:
1. Positivity
2. Adaptability
3. Connectedness
4. Includer
5. Empathy
After the jump I talk a little more about my strengths. I also have a few questions you can answer about me that will help me use my strengths to their fullest! (just click "read more" below)
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Jesus is Alive!
Holy Week has never really been a huge thing for me, even though I knew it should be. But I had an experience this week that opened my eyes to the wonder and joy of Easter. So I thought I would share...
Here's a little background info: I teach enrichment classes for the three and four year olds at the preschool where I work. On Thursdays we have chapel time. I usually read them a bible story and talk to them about it, then we say our memory verse and sing a song. Often I tell them about Jesus and how much He loves them. There is a little boy in one of my four year old classes that is sort of a behavior problem. The teachers have come to expect him to act up, and so he does. He has become convinced that he is a "bad boy," and it breaks my heart. I'm going to call him Matthew for the purposes of my story.
This Thursday, since it was holy week, I decided to read the crucifixion and resurrection stories out of the illustrated kids' bible. I skipped the Pontius Pilate stuff and started right at "They nailed Jesus' hands and feet to the cross, and he died." When I read those words, Matthew stared at me, eyes wide, and said "He DIED? Jesus DIED? In real life?" I said, "yes, Matthew, it was real life, but it was a long time ago." He got very upset and said he didn't like sad stories. I told him to wait a little while and see if it got better.
I went on to read about how sad the disciples were after Jesus died, and Matthew just got more and more upset. He said "I am not going to listen to this story anymore! It is too sad!" When we got to the part where Mary Magdalene goes to the tomb and finds it empty, Matthew stood up in his chair and said "Ms. Rachel, WHERE IS JESUS?!" He looked as if he was about to cry. I said "it's ok, Matthew, just wait. The story is going to get better." He didn't believe me.
I finally arrived at the part in the story where Jesus appears to the disciples in a locked room. The story we were reading had the words "Jesus is alive. Jesus is really alive. Jesus is risen from the dead!" As soon as I read those words, Matthew's frown turned into a huge smile! He pumped his fists and shouted "YES!" By this time the rest of the class had picked up on Matthew's emotions. They were as engrossed in the story as he was. When they realized that Jesus had come back to life, all ten four-year-olds started dancing around the room chanting "Jesus is alive! Jesus is alive!" I thought, now this is what Easter is supposed to be like!
I wanted to capture that childlike sadness and joy and keep it through Good Friday and Easter Sunday. I have never felt the crushing sadness of Jesus' death and the extreme joy of His resurrection like I did this week. Those children blessed me so much in those ten minutes, and I will always cherish the memory. I hope I will use it in the future when the world is bringing me down and I need to remember what is really important.
Here's a little background info: I teach enrichment classes for the three and four year olds at the preschool where I work. On Thursdays we have chapel time. I usually read them a bible story and talk to them about it, then we say our memory verse and sing a song. Often I tell them about Jesus and how much He loves them. There is a little boy in one of my four year old classes that is sort of a behavior problem. The teachers have come to expect him to act up, and so he does. He has become convinced that he is a "bad boy," and it breaks my heart. I'm going to call him Matthew for the purposes of my story.
This Thursday, since it was holy week, I decided to read the crucifixion and resurrection stories out of the illustrated kids' bible. I skipped the Pontius Pilate stuff and started right at "They nailed Jesus' hands and feet to the cross, and he died." When I read those words, Matthew stared at me, eyes wide, and said "He DIED? Jesus DIED? In real life?" I said, "yes, Matthew, it was real life, but it was a long time ago." He got very upset and said he didn't like sad stories. I told him to wait a little while and see if it got better.
I went on to read about how sad the disciples were after Jesus died, and Matthew just got more and more upset. He said "I am not going to listen to this story anymore! It is too sad!" When we got to the part where Mary Magdalene goes to the tomb and finds it empty, Matthew stood up in his chair and said "Ms. Rachel, WHERE IS JESUS?!" He looked as if he was about to cry. I said "it's ok, Matthew, just wait. The story is going to get better." He didn't believe me.
I finally arrived at the part in the story where Jesus appears to the disciples in a locked room. The story we were reading had the words "Jesus is alive. Jesus is really alive. Jesus is risen from the dead!" As soon as I read those words, Matthew's frown turned into a huge smile! He pumped his fists and shouted "YES!" By this time the rest of the class had picked up on Matthew's emotions. They were as engrossed in the story as he was. When they realized that Jesus had come back to life, all ten four-year-olds started dancing around the room chanting "Jesus is alive! Jesus is alive!" I thought, now this is what Easter is supposed to be like!
I wanted to capture that childlike sadness and joy and keep it through Good Friday and Easter Sunday. I have never felt the crushing sadness of Jesus' death and the extreme joy of His resurrection like I did this week. Those children blessed me so much in those ten minutes, and I will always cherish the memory. I hope I will use it in the future when the world is bringing me down and I need to remember what is really important.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Holy Week Confusion
My church is ending tomorrow.
On Palm Sunday.
I will be sad.
I get a new church next week.
On Easter Sunday.
I will be happy.
Today, I'm sort of confused.
On Palm Sunday.
I will be sad.
I get a new church next week.
On Easter Sunday.
I will be happy.
Today, I'm sort of confused.
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